Eleven months ago I began a journey of practicing mindfulness every day and we've reached day 364. Yesterday, I talked about trying to enjoy life more. Today is a new day.
While it's great to care about others, when we forget to take care of ourselves I think the balance is off. This is something that I have a hard time with because I want everyone to be happy, but because I don't have the power to do that it creates anxiety and I take failures too personally. I've noticed that sometimes I get so focused on trying to help other people that I'd forget to rest properly (I thought only about my duties to others) or I'll beat myself up over not being able to have a positive influence on everyone and it might affect my mood for the rest of the day.
When I think about this, I'd also say that me trying to please everyone is me being selfish. As if my ego thinks that I'm so "great" that people need me in their lives in order to elevate themselves. I know that I can't please everyone and that I'm not some patron saint sent to restore balance to the world. I know that and I genuinely just want to help people, yet I still get frustrated when I can't.
It took me a while to figure out, but focusing too hard on pleasing others is like seeking happiness and salvation in the external. It's the same as saying that I can't find peace within myself; that I'm not "good enough". The frustration I feel when I fail with others is also frustration toward myself not being content with myself and who I am.
It's a hard thing to admit, but in coming to terms with this I started to think about what I wanted, what makes me happy, and most importantly, not to depend on others' satisfaction or validation in order to feel good throughout the day. It's like opening up your eyes and deciding to stop depending on cigarettes to help relieve your stress. While sometimes we need to make sacrifices like enduring struggle in order to come out better and stronger (not playing games to do homework, not sleeping to get some work done), if what we're doing isn't going toward bettering our lives, then our actions lack meaning.
This feeling of meaning brings not only satisfaction with our actions, but it reflects in the quality of work we do and ends up benefiting others more, too. Drawing the line between helping people because you want them to be happy and helping them because it makes you happy is important. It's something that completely changes your perspective on life. You end up doing what you love and that passion shows. The better you feel about what you're doing, the better you end up treating others. Help yourself to help others. Win - win.
It's great to want to help others, but don't forget to take care of yourself in the process.
Peace
"When you take care of yourself, you're a better person for others. When you feel good about yourself, you treat others better." - Solange KnowlesIn Japan, mindfulness is a practice that people are taught as children and it carries on later on in their lives. I've met so many amazing people who are caring, selfless, and simply wonderful to be around. Unfortunately, I've also met people who are so concerned for others that they sacrifice their own well-being in order to please others. These people exist everywhere, not just Japan, but it's something I've noticed a lot more since moving here.
While it's great to care about others, when we forget to take care of ourselves I think the balance is off. This is something that I have a hard time with because I want everyone to be happy, but because I don't have the power to do that it creates anxiety and I take failures too personally. I've noticed that sometimes I get so focused on trying to help other people that I'd forget to rest properly (I thought only about my duties to others) or I'll beat myself up over not being able to have a positive influence on everyone and it might affect my mood for the rest of the day.
When I think about this, I'd also say that me trying to please everyone is me being selfish. As if my ego thinks that I'm so "great" that people need me in their lives in order to elevate themselves. I know that I can't please everyone and that I'm not some patron saint sent to restore balance to the world. I know that and I genuinely just want to help people, yet I still get frustrated when I can't.
It took me a while to figure out, but focusing too hard on pleasing others is like seeking happiness and salvation in the external. It's the same as saying that I can't find peace within myself; that I'm not "good enough". The frustration I feel when I fail with others is also frustration toward myself not being content with myself and who I am.
It's a hard thing to admit, but in coming to terms with this I started to think about what I wanted, what makes me happy, and most importantly, not to depend on others' satisfaction or validation in order to feel good throughout the day. It's like opening up your eyes and deciding to stop depending on cigarettes to help relieve your stress. While sometimes we need to make sacrifices like enduring struggle in order to come out better and stronger (not playing games to do homework, not sleeping to get some work done), if what we're doing isn't going toward bettering our lives, then our actions lack meaning.
This feeling of meaning brings not only satisfaction with our actions, but it reflects in the quality of work we do and ends up benefiting others more, too. Drawing the line between helping people because you want them to be happy and helping them because it makes you happy is important. It's something that completely changes your perspective on life. You end up doing what you love and that passion shows. The better you feel about what you're doing, the better you end up treating others. Help yourself to help others. Win - win.
It's great to want to help others, but don't forget to take care of yourself in the process.
Peace
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| The world reflects how we are. It is ugly, yet beautiful. Do things that make you happy and the world will respond by becoming beautiful to our eyes. |
What can you do to better take care of yourself? Leave a comment below!
ReplyDeleteHave a great day~