Eight months ago I began a journey of practicing mindfulness every day and we've reached day 251. Yesterday, I talked about what we can learn from loss. Today is a new day.
When working retail you have to please the customer and sell them products. When I first started working at my first job I'd pretend to be into certain things to promote certain products that I'd otherwise never recommend and it worked. I got sales and it really helped out my store, but it took its toll on me. I hated it and it made me feel like a complete tool. I was just being a "good boy" for my company and in effect I was lying to myself and others. By not being authentic to others I noticed myself becoming too "nice" and stopped taking initiative for myself. I'd also not be genuine around people because I didn't want to be judged. I just wanted to live a happy life like other people, but I thought I couldn't achieve that by being myself. My confidence went way down and my life ended up revolving around pleasing others and because I hated what I had become, I secluded myself a lot to escape it all. I became hollow.
Eventually, I got sick of the people-pleasing and started being my own person. Instead of kissing ass all day, I'd still help people out, but I wouldn't bullshit people by saying things like "I'm totally into them, too" to get sales. Instead, I opted for giving my honest opinions when asked and would instead just try understanding the people I was interacting with more. I didn't do it to get sales, rather, because I just wanted to. It was something I liked about my job. The various stories, the different perspectives. I may not have shared the same views and interests, but it was in actually wanting to get to know others that I ended up being more open to people myself. The reverse is also true. By being more open to people, I've found that people tend to be more willing to open themselves around me, too. It's a cycle of reciprocation. Best of all, bringing out my true nature to people let like-minded people discover the real me. I've formed a lot of great relationships as a result.
When they say you have to sell your soul to the devil, they mean that you have to forsake the freedom to be yourself and transform yourself into a likeable character. You have to play a role like a good little puppet and pray that you don't get eaten alive by the critics. In working to be more real with others, I'm learning that it doesn't matter what people think of me. My actions can speak for themselves and people will judge me no matter what I do. I can't please everyone, so I might as well let people like me for who I really am. There is nothing to lose when you lose fake people, but you have everything to lose when you lose yourself in order to please them. You might not be the most popular, but at least you know what you have is real.
Peace
"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them." - Mitch HedbergOne thing that bothers me is when people try to be super nice with me even when it's clear as day they don't really give a shit. It especially bugs me when people do it just to get something out of you. People like this are fake and eventually end up hollow. Nobody likes fake people. I find it funny that despite this, some people choose to still be dishonest and not be authentic around others. People are funny like that.
When working retail you have to please the customer and sell them products. When I first started working at my first job I'd pretend to be into certain things to promote certain products that I'd otherwise never recommend and it worked. I got sales and it really helped out my store, but it took its toll on me. I hated it and it made me feel like a complete tool. I was just being a "good boy" for my company and in effect I was lying to myself and others. By not being authentic to others I noticed myself becoming too "nice" and stopped taking initiative for myself. I'd also not be genuine around people because I didn't want to be judged. I just wanted to live a happy life like other people, but I thought I couldn't achieve that by being myself. My confidence went way down and my life ended up revolving around pleasing others and because I hated what I had become, I secluded myself a lot to escape it all. I became hollow.
Eventually, I got sick of the people-pleasing and started being my own person. Instead of kissing ass all day, I'd still help people out, but I wouldn't bullshit people by saying things like "I'm totally into them, too" to get sales. Instead, I opted for giving my honest opinions when asked and would instead just try understanding the people I was interacting with more. I didn't do it to get sales, rather, because I just wanted to. It was something I liked about my job. The various stories, the different perspectives. I may not have shared the same views and interests, but it was in actually wanting to get to know others that I ended up being more open to people myself. The reverse is also true. By being more open to people, I've found that people tend to be more willing to open themselves around me, too. It's a cycle of reciprocation. Best of all, bringing out my true nature to people let like-minded people discover the real me. I've formed a lot of great relationships as a result.
When they say you have to sell your soul to the devil, they mean that you have to forsake the freedom to be yourself and transform yourself into a likeable character. You have to play a role like a good little puppet and pray that you don't get eaten alive by the critics. In working to be more real with others, I'm learning that it doesn't matter what people think of me. My actions can speak for themselves and people will judge me no matter what I do. I can't please everyone, so I might as well let people like me for who I really am. There is nothing to lose when you lose fake people, but you have everything to lose when you lose yourself in order to please them. You might not be the most popular, but at least you know what you have is real.
Peace
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| Pinnochio became a real boy by being authentic. Lying only brought out his nose. |
Who is the real you?
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