Yesterday, I talked about the importance of measuring the right things when drawing comparisons. Today is a new day.
In today's fast-paced society, we get mixed into a lot of situations and meet new people all of the time. There's always the pressure to conform and get along with everyone that we sometimes even compromise our own needs in order to stay on everyone's good side. However, in trying to please everyone around us we end up neglecting our own needs. In other words, we're not taking care of or respecting ourselves.
The typical image of someone who just kisses ass all day that comes to mind is the "nice guy". The "nice guy" tries to help others and avoid confrontation at all times. They say things in order to please others and in the end never really express themselves openly. In order to get things they want and avoid being seen negatively, they do things passively. They tip-toe around everything until everyone can come to an agreeable consensus. It's bullshit and in my opinion unhealthy for them and the people they interact with.
I am of the belief that we should be honest and upfront with each other. If you don't like me, that's cool. You're free to dislike whoever you want and I know that I'm bound to meet people who share different views from me. That's okay. Now that we're on the same page we can respect each others' needs in a civil way and even just avoid each other when we can. No need to interact with people who hate you, right? We can move on and continue with our own business without the passivity.
One thing I've noticed is that so many people try to cling onto people who don't value us. I've seen people trying to convince someone not to unfriend them on facebook or coworkers doing anything to get on their boss' good side so they get a good performance rating. When we do these sort of things we're essentially saying we have no boundaries. We're giving off the message that we don't care if people step all over us as long as they don't leave us. If we try holding on to people that we don't matter to, that's the same as admitting to ourselves that we're not worthy of anything. There's no respect at all. Can you honestly call that healthy?
For this very reason, I've been spending more time with people who care for what I have to say. In doing so I'm learning to just be myself openly and freely as much as possible and it has translated into many areas of my life, such as learning to not judge others. In learning to accept myself I've learned to accept others for who they are, too. This is called mutual respect and people who really care about you will stick around even when times are tough.
When we're open with people it saves us the time of having to explain our interests, desires, etc. Those who like what we have to say and value who we are will stay. Those are the people that matter the most because they show us that it's okay to be who we really are. They encourage us to be genuine. No bullshit, no passivity, no misunderstandings. Hanging around people like this allows us to just say and do what we want and not feel judged 24/7. They're the kind of people worth holding on to.
The barbecue was a good example of this. We went into politics, sexuality, everything, and just had a good laugh about everything. We were all just trying to have a good time and we did. Even if we didn't agree with each other views we didn't judge each other. We tried to understand their perspective and be respectful about it. Being able to do that is what really matters, and we can't get that without being real with each other.
Peace
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. SeussI was invited to a friend's barbecue yesterday and went to hang out. We all talked, shared some stories, thoughts, and just enjoyed a nice barbecue out in the sun. Best of all, there was plenty of meat and beer to go around.
In today's fast-paced society, we get mixed into a lot of situations and meet new people all of the time. There's always the pressure to conform and get along with everyone that we sometimes even compromise our own needs in order to stay on everyone's good side. However, in trying to please everyone around us we end up neglecting our own needs. In other words, we're not taking care of or respecting ourselves.
The typical image of someone who just kisses ass all day that comes to mind is the "nice guy". The "nice guy" tries to help others and avoid confrontation at all times. They say things in order to please others and in the end never really express themselves openly. In order to get things they want and avoid being seen negatively, they do things passively. They tip-toe around everything until everyone can come to an agreeable consensus. It's bullshit and in my opinion unhealthy for them and the people they interact with.
I am of the belief that we should be honest and upfront with each other. If you don't like me, that's cool. You're free to dislike whoever you want and I know that I'm bound to meet people who share different views from me. That's okay. Now that we're on the same page we can respect each others' needs in a civil way and even just avoid each other when we can. No need to interact with people who hate you, right? We can move on and continue with our own business without the passivity.
One thing I've noticed is that so many people try to cling onto people who don't value us. I've seen people trying to convince someone not to unfriend them on facebook or coworkers doing anything to get on their boss' good side so they get a good performance rating. When we do these sort of things we're essentially saying we have no boundaries. We're giving off the message that we don't care if people step all over us as long as they don't leave us. If we try holding on to people that we don't matter to, that's the same as admitting to ourselves that we're not worthy of anything. There's no respect at all. Can you honestly call that healthy?
For this very reason, I've been spending more time with people who care for what I have to say. In doing so I'm learning to just be myself openly and freely as much as possible and it has translated into many areas of my life, such as learning to not judge others. In learning to accept myself I've learned to accept others for who they are, too. This is called mutual respect and people who really care about you will stick around even when times are tough.
When we're open with people it saves us the time of having to explain our interests, desires, etc. Those who like what we have to say and value who we are will stay. Those are the people that matter the most because they show us that it's okay to be who we really are. They encourage us to be genuine. No bullshit, no passivity, no misunderstandings. Hanging around people like this allows us to just say and do what we want and not feel judged 24/7. They're the kind of people worth holding on to.
The barbecue was a good example of this. We went into politics, sexuality, everything, and just had a good laugh about everything. We were all just trying to have a good time and we did. Even if we didn't agree with each other views we didn't judge each other. We tried to understand their perspective and be respectful about it. Being able to do that is what really matters, and we can't get that without being real with each other.
Peace
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| The people who are there for us by choice are the ones who you want to stick around. No point in trying to hold on to something that doesn't wanna be there. |
What do you think?
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