Nine months ago I began a journey of practicing mindfulness every day and we've reached day 276. Yesterday, I talked about being mindful of how our actions affect the world around us. Today is a new day.
Awkward isn't enough to describe how that felt.
It turns out the city I work in is actually infamous for "nanpa", or "pickup" (generally by males, but sometimes done by females) and this kind of thing is not uncommon. It made me think about dating in Japan and how most youth are taught (and even encouraged by mainstream media) from a young age to engage in self-indulgence and that this kinda thing is a natural result of such a mentality. Yeah, I like women as much as most other men, but I never got on board with the pickup mentality. I've always been more of the get-to-know-you-before-I-like-you type, so it just never appealed to me.
While the advent of apps like tinder and pickup culture becoming more popularized and common, I refuse to do things I don't want to do. Just because something is the norm doesn't mean it's good, nor does it mean it suits you. In the same way that Japanese culture favors the clean-shaved look and suits are forever stylish, I'm not going to change my look to appear cooler to people. Fuck that nonsense. I buy clothes that I like because I consider clothes a form of expressions, so I want to express myself, not the image society wants me to express. I grow out my beard (but keep it trimmed) because I like that style. I think it suits me. If everyone were all the same I think life would be boring beyond belief.
We're all unique in our own way and I firmly believe that we are that way for a reason. Society likes to group us together and make us all the same, but while the intentions behind it might be nice I only see that as holding us back. Things like taste are subjective. You might like a certain movie and think it's the greatest, but I might have a completely different view toward it. It's the same with anything, whether it's which Disney movie is the best, which artist has the best style, fashion, etc. They all represent different tastes and each has had a lot of passion thrown into it. But if I don't like, I don't like it. I don't need a reason, it's just a part of who I am. Simple.
This experience was a reminder for me to stay who I am despite what society may expect from me. I am learning about myself and bowing down to societal norms would be like me saying that my individuality doesn't matter. While I see the value in being mindful of others, I also think it's important not to sacrifice the self completely in order to coexist with everyone. It's all about finding the right balance.
Peace
"Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your own most intense obsessions mercilessly." - Franz KafkaLast night was strange. As I was walking toward the train station on my way home a beautiful girl casually approached me and asked where I was going in Japanese. After telling her I was going home she said, "hey, let's go out for a drink and flirt and stuff". I politely declined and told her I wasn't interested and she started pushing, saying, "come on, just an hour", then "okay, only 30 minutes?" Finally, she challenged me to a game of rock, paper, scissors, and if I lost I'd have to accompany her. I played along with the game just to amuse her. Despite losing, I held my ground and politely told her that I wasn't going to go and she finally gave up. I said goodbye and went home.
Awkward isn't enough to describe how that felt.
It turns out the city I work in is actually infamous for "nanpa", or "pickup" (generally by males, but sometimes done by females) and this kind of thing is not uncommon. It made me think about dating in Japan and how most youth are taught (and even encouraged by mainstream media) from a young age to engage in self-indulgence and that this kinda thing is a natural result of such a mentality. Yeah, I like women as much as most other men, but I never got on board with the pickup mentality. I've always been more of the get-to-know-you-before-I-like-you type, so it just never appealed to me.
While the advent of apps like tinder and pickup culture becoming more popularized and common, I refuse to do things I don't want to do. Just because something is the norm doesn't mean it's good, nor does it mean it suits you. In the same way that Japanese culture favors the clean-shaved look and suits are forever stylish, I'm not going to change my look to appear cooler to people. Fuck that nonsense. I buy clothes that I like because I consider clothes a form of expressions, so I want to express myself, not the image society wants me to express. I grow out my beard (but keep it trimmed) because I like that style. I think it suits me. If everyone were all the same I think life would be boring beyond belief.
We're all unique in our own way and I firmly believe that we are that way for a reason. Society likes to group us together and make us all the same, but while the intentions behind it might be nice I only see that as holding us back. Things like taste are subjective. You might like a certain movie and think it's the greatest, but I might have a completely different view toward it. It's the same with anything, whether it's which Disney movie is the best, which artist has the best style, fashion, etc. They all represent different tastes and each has had a lot of passion thrown into it. But if I don't like, I don't like it. I don't need a reason, it's just a part of who I am. Simple.
This experience was a reminder for me to stay who I am despite what society may expect from me. I am learning about myself and bowing down to societal norms would be like me saying that my individuality doesn't matter. While I see the value in being mindful of others, I also think it's important not to sacrifice the self completely in order to coexist with everyone. It's all about finding the right balance.
Be you for your own sake, not for others'.
Peace
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| Embrace your weirdness. It makes you, you. |
If you have any thoughts, stories, or experiences, leave a comment below!
ReplyDeleteHave a great day~