Seven months ago I began a journey of practicing mindfulness every day and we've reached day 230. Yesterday, I talked about not letting anyone take you down with them. Today is a new day.
Although I always place hope and trust in my students, today was a pleasant surprise. One of my students, whom I've talked of before, is particularly shy and I had to help her a lot during her previous presentation. Since that day she's known that I expect her to do as well as the others despite her not having taken any English classes like the rest of the kids and she knows that I won't go easy on her because she's behind. That was 7 weeks ago and not once have I believe she couldn't.
People can sense how you think of them. It shows in your body language and actions whether you're aware of it or not, but people notice. Every lesson I notice how much the kids are paying attention to how I'm looking at them. They always look to me to see if they're saying the correct things and this is especially true with the shyer and more self-conscious kids. I think it's important to be extra patient with them and let them grow at their own pace. At the same time, it's also important to let them know what your expectations for them are because once they're clear to them, they know what to focus their attention on.
With this student, I had to help her break out of her shyness, so I'd intentionally call on her a lot to make her start speaking more. At first, she was really hesitant and would take her time, but like most people, awkward silences are well...awkward, so after realizing that I wasn't going to let her go without speaking she's trying more and getting over it. Despite her last presentation being a sort of train wreck, this time I only had to help her once and even then, it was a minor mistake She did great and didn't have to spend much time to think. Even the parents were surprised.
While it's true that I've been working with her for the last few months, it's ultimately on her whether she learns the material or not and I think knowing that someone is willing to believe in them no matter what helps. Although some people feed off of others' doubts, she is not one of those people. Had I not placed trust in her ability she'd have felt it and it'd be game over. It'd be the equivalent of me telling her I think she's dumb and that she should just give up on life. When we have people fully support us we can get through anything, even if they're the only ones who believe in us. It doesn't matter if the rest of the world thinks we're trash as long as we have at least one person.
This applies to giving people the general benefit of the doubt, too. People respond to our thoughts and emotions, so when you're assuming the worst in people, not only does it show, but it's only natural that those people become more tense and defensive. It ends up making it a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. The less you trust in others, the more you also come to not see what good they actually have in them.
On the other hand, when you approach people with the belief that they're good and with an open mind people tend to be a lot more mellow and cool to talk to. From that trust develops thicker bonds that give us the strength to move mountains. In a lot of ways we're all connected, but if you're chill, other people are chill, too.
Peace
"Trust gives you the permission to give people direction, get everyone aligned, and give them the energy to get the job done. Trust enables you to execute with excellence and produce extraordinary results. As you execute with excellence and deliver upon your commitments, trust becomes easier to inspire, creating a flywheel of performance." - Douglas ConantI had presentations for my kids classes this week and it's always a time where I get really nervous because it's the day the parents get to see whether my students know what's going on or not. I know that I'm doing the best I can in order to teach them in each lesson, but a big part of learning is practicing outside of the classroom, too, so I always worry whether my students are practicing or not. As I have no control over what my students do at home, the only thing I can do is trust in them.
Although I always place hope and trust in my students, today was a pleasant surprise. One of my students, whom I've talked of before, is particularly shy and I had to help her a lot during her previous presentation. Since that day she's known that I expect her to do as well as the others despite her not having taken any English classes like the rest of the kids and she knows that I won't go easy on her because she's behind. That was 7 weeks ago and not once have I believe she couldn't.
People can sense how you think of them. It shows in your body language and actions whether you're aware of it or not, but people notice. Every lesson I notice how much the kids are paying attention to how I'm looking at them. They always look to me to see if they're saying the correct things and this is especially true with the shyer and more self-conscious kids. I think it's important to be extra patient with them and let them grow at their own pace. At the same time, it's also important to let them know what your expectations for them are because once they're clear to them, they know what to focus their attention on.
With this student, I had to help her break out of her shyness, so I'd intentionally call on her a lot to make her start speaking more. At first, she was really hesitant and would take her time, but like most people, awkward silences are well...awkward, so after realizing that I wasn't going to let her go without speaking she's trying more and getting over it. Despite her last presentation being a sort of train wreck, this time I only had to help her once and even then, it was a minor mistake She did great and didn't have to spend much time to think. Even the parents were surprised.
While it's true that I've been working with her for the last few months, it's ultimately on her whether she learns the material or not and I think knowing that someone is willing to believe in them no matter what helps. Although some people feed off of others' doubts, she is not one of those people. Had I not placed trust in her ability she'd have felt it and it'd be game over. It'd be the equivalent of me telling her I think she's dumb and that she should just give up on life. When we have people fully support us we can get through anything, even if they're the only ones who believe in us. It doesn't matter if the rest of the world thinks we're trash as long as we have at least one person.
This applies to giving people the general benefit of the doubt, too. People respond to our thoughts and emotions, so when you're assuming the worst in people, not only does it show, but it's only natural that those people become more tense and defensive. It ends up making it a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. The less you trust in others, the more you also come to not see what good they actually have in them.
On the other hand, when you approach people with the belief that they're good and with an open mind people tend to be a lot more mellow and cool to talk to. From that trust develops thicker bonds that give us the strength to move mountains. In a lot of ways we're all connected, but if you're chill, other people are chill, too.
You just gotta believe.
 |
| Even if they don't believe in themselves, they'll believe in the you that believes in them. |
When people place their trust in you how does it feel? How do you think your trust in others affects them?
ReplyDelete