Seven months ago I began a journey of practicing mindfulness every day and we've reached day 225. Yesterday, I talked about gaining focus from finding the calm within our torrential thoughts. Today is a new day.
When it comes to relationships in general, I think people often make the mistake of thinking that we need them in order to be happy. It's no surprise considering how huge corporations like Disney shove messages of true love, friendship, and happily-ever-afters down our throats as kids. While there is truth in them, like anything too much of something can lead to dependency and imbalances in life.
A lot of people see relationships as necessary for filling up holes in our hearts, which can lead to the assumption that we can't be happy on our own. The thing is, if we're only happy with someone else, are we truly happy? If not, how can we expect to make others (and ourselves) happy if we aren't actually happy to begin with? Yes, human beings are social creatures and we need intimacy in order to maintain our mental health, but we are completely capable of being single and still fulfill those needs.
From this perspective, I view all types relationships as no different than using Netflix, video games, or other vices to escape from our trials and tribulations. They distract us from focusing on what needs to get done. Relationships can no doubt be great and can provide us with so much happiness, but our lives are so much more than just love and friendship. We can find happiness from within as well.
In practicing mindfulness, I've been spending a lot of time alone and looking deep inside myself. Although I can get lonely from time-to-time I have found that this lifestyle has provided me with value in ways that hanging out with other people can't. I have more time to focus on improving myself. The extra focus accelerates my growth and seeing my progress feels amazing. It forces me to recognize and confront my insecurities, and by being alone I get to practice freely expressing myself without judgment.
All of this has translated into more value in my relationships as well. By working on myself I've gained more confidence, which has helped me interact with and be comfortable with people. It's helped me to not take how others view me so personally, and by practicing how to express myself I've naturally become more open to people.
There's a certain solace that comes with being alone that makes you stronger when you learn to embrace it. Taking the lessons and applying them to my life has in-turn made my relationships much stronger and deeper, but at the same time, I've come to see them as icing on the cake. With or without them I still have my own life to live, but I'll always have something I can work toward.
Peace
"Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self." - May SartonIn the last few days I have been pretty productive in my daily drawings and my piano. The other night I was talking with a friend about relationships in Japan. Whether I'm talking with men or women, this topic always comes up, and I get why: people get lonely. Yet solitude has its own rewards.
When it comes to relationships in general, I think people often make the mistake of thinking that we need them in order to be happy. It's no surprise considering how huge corporations like Disney shove messages of true love, friendship, and happily-ever-afters down our throats as kids. While there is truth in them, like anything too much of something can lead to dependency and imbalances in life.
A lot of people see relationships as necessary for filling up holes in our hearts, which can lead to the assumption that we can't be happy on our own. The thing is, if we're only happy with someone else, are we truly happy? If not, how can we expect to make others (and ourselves) happy if we aren't actually happy to begin with? Yes, human beings are social creatures and we need intimacy in order to maintain our mental health, but we are completely capable of being single and still fulfill those needs.
From this perspective, I view all types relationships as no different than using Netflix, video games, or other vices to escape from our trials and tribulations. They distract us from focusing on what needs to get done. Relationships can no doubt be great and can provide us with so much happiness, but our lives are so much more than just love and friendship. We can find happiness from within as well.
In practicing mindfulness, I've been spending a lot of time alone and looking deep inside myself. Although I can get lonely from time-to-time I have found that this lifestyle has provided me with value in ways that hanging out with other people can't. I have more time to focus on improving myself. The extra focus accelerates my growth and seeing my progress feels amazing. It forces me to recognize and confront my insecurities, and by being alone I get to practice freely expressing myself without judgment.
All of this has translated into more value in my relationships as well. By working on myself I've gained more confidence, which has helped me interact with and be comfortable with people. It's helped me to not take how others view me so personally, and by practicing how to express myself I've naturally become more open to people.
There's a certain solace that comes with being alone that makes you stronger when you learn to embrace it. Taking the lessons and applying them to my life has in-turn made my relationships much stronger and deeper, but at the same time, I've come to see them as icing on the cake. With or without them I still have my own life to live, but I'll always have something I can work toward.
Peace
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| Together we are strong, but learning to stand tall alone makes us that much stronger as a whole. |
What can you gain from solitude?
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