I used to be very stubborn. Too much for my own good. I was firm in my beliefs and couldn't be shaken. Even if you'd give me a rational explanation, I wouldn't hear it. I'd have to learn the hard way. In some ways I still am stubborn, but I've learned to let go and not let things hold me back. Letting go is something that comes from being mindful and is a big part of yoga, martial arts, and other spiritual disciplines. It is something anyone can benefit from.
So what is letting go? I understand it as accepting that "it is what it is" and realizing that nothing is permanent. It's being able to appreciate the beauty in what's around us as well as overcoming and learning from the uglier aspects of life. Our hubris (arrogance) is what makes us stubborn and so letting go also means not letting our emotions get in the way of thinking clearly.
What is there to let go? Everything
Whether I'm in love, pissed off, or feeling apathetic, my emotions change. They always change depending on what's going on around me. It's important to recognize what you're feeling and when. To go a step further, asking yourself why you're feeling a certain way at that time is the key to letting go. You acknowledge that you're happy, you figure out what's making you happy, and then you can continue on with life. That doesn't mean you should stop being happy. Stay happy! But, the difference is now that you know what's making you happy, you can choose to continue doing what you love or move on to something else. The difference is learning to not depend on that happiness, either.
It's hard to do, but once it's gone it will hurt that much more when you don't know how to continue on without it. Letting go isn't becoming emotionless or bottling up your emotions. It's being able to appreciate what was and moving on to life's next adventure.
Alternatively, if you're feeling really sad, asking yourself why you're sad and what's causing your sadness can serve as a means to open up and doing something different. Maybe you lost your job? Maybe you lost a lover? Maybe you lost a limb? It's okay to feel sad; however, the damage is done. There's no changing what happened.
Time is ticking forward, and so must we.
As such, letting go is reminding ourselves that it is what it is and rather than sulking in a corner we can choose to move on with the world. It is learning to adapt to our new situation and use our loss as a lesson to help us grow. People who end up becoming depressed often need to remind themselves of this. Some people just need to remind themselves more often than others. Being aware of what's going on, knowing what you should be doing, and taking action are what's important. Not the loss.
What about death? This is mankind's greatest fear. We fear the possibility of no longer existing. It's a deeply rooted instinct of self-preservation. We don't know what comes after death, if there is anything at all. We strive to figure out the answer, but many also refuse to embrace the fact that it is inevitable and cling on to life as much as possible. Letting go of death means to acknowledge that it is going to happen whether we like it or not. It's the cycle of life. After acknowledgement, we can then learn to appreciate the time we have living. By doing so, we break out of our shells, become more adventurous, open-minded, and willing to be ourselves.
Many who become terminally ill often end up becoming so full of life before they die because they've learned to come to terms with their coming death. Rather than fighting it, they let the fear go and channel that energy to doing other things - namely living. Countless studies on death have been done and the people who ended up with regrets were mainly the ones who chose to linger on the fact that they were going to die. They let the fear consume them and they prevented themselves from enjoying the time they had left on this Earth. One of the most common regrets was not enjoying life. So enjoy it while you still can. You're alive, so there's still something you can do no matter how dark the tunnel might seem.
Material possessions are a huge part of modern society. Learning to let go of our dependence on them is something we should all learn. Whether it's the clothing we wear, the devices we carry, the house we live in, etc., so many of us place our focus on what we have and what we want that we forget that we don't actually need any of it. I like to play video games, but I won't die without them. I love to draw, play music, etc., but I don't need any of it. If I didn't have any possessions, I wouldn't be writing this blog. I'd be doing something else instead. Simple as that.
Many people worry about getting bored, not having anything to do, etc., but that's all in our head. There's always something to do. By having so many options we ironically limit ourselves in what we do. In various psychological studies, people who end up being given more options also tend to be the least satisfied by them. They don't appreciate the options/things/people they have as much when they live in abundance. Going back to material possessions, the same applies. Do you really care about your possessions knowing you could always replace them/get more? Compared to the person who only has a single set of clothes, probably not. There is beauty in simplicity (in this case being a minimalist), too.
Do we have to let go of everything in our life? No. However, I still think it's important to know how to let go because it serves as a reminder that everything is shaped by how we view it. It also helps us appreciate the simpler things in life. Perspective is everything and we are what we perceive.
Peace
So what is letting go? I understand it as accepting that "it is what it is" and realizing that nothing is permanent. It's being able to appreciate the beauty in what's around us as well as overcoming and learning from the uglier aspects of life. Our hubris (arrogance) is what makes us stubborn and so letting go also means not letting our emotions get in the way of thinking clearly.
What is there to let go? Everything
Whether I'm in love, pissed off, or feeling apathetic, my emotions change. They always change depending on what's going on around me. It's important to recognize what you're feeling and when. To go a step further, asking yourself why you're feeling a certain way at that time is the key to letting go. You acknowledge that you're happy, you figure out what's making you happy, and then you can continue on with life. That doesn't mean you should stop being happy. Stay happy! But, the difference is now that you know what's making you happy, you can choose to continue doing what you love or move on to something else. The difference is learning to not depend on that happiness, either.
It's hard to do, but once it's gone it will hurt that much more when you don't know how to continue on without it. Letting go isn't becoming emotionless or bottling up your emotions. It's being able to appreciate what was and moving on to life's next adventure.
Alternatively, if you're feeling really sad, asking yourself why you're sad and what's causing your sadness can serve as a means to open up and doing something different. Maybe you lost your job? Maybe you lost a lover? Maybe you lost a limb? It's okay to feel sad; however, the damage is done. There's no changing what happened.
Time is ticking forward, and so must we.
As such, letting go is reminding ourselves that it is what it is and rather than sulking in a corner we can choose to move on with the world. It is learning to adapt to our new situation and use our loss as a lesson to help us grow. People who end up becoming depressed often need to remind themselves of this. Some people just need to remind themselves more often than others. Being aware of what's going on, knowing what you should be doing, and taking action are what's important. Not the loss.
What about death? This is mankind's greatest fear. We fear the possibility of no longer existing. It's a deeply rooted instinct of self-preservation. We don't know what comes after death, if there is anything at all. We strive to figure out the answer, but many also refuse to embrace the fact that it is inevitable and cling on to life as much as possible. Letting go of death means to acknowledge that it is going to happen whether we like it or not. It's the cycle of life. After acknowledgement, we can then learn to appreciate the time we have living. By doing so, we break out of our shells, become more adventurous, open-minded, and willing to be ourselves.
Many who become terminally ill often end up becoming so full of life before they die because they've learned to come to terms with their coming death. Rather than fighting it, they let the fear go and channel that energy to doing other things - namely living. Countless studies on death have been done and the people who ended up with regrets were mainly the ones who chose to linger on the fact that they were going to die. They let the fear consume them and they prevented themselves from enjoying the time they had left on this Earth. One of the most common regrets was not enjoying life. So enjoy it while you still can. You're alive, so there's still something you can do no matter how dark the tunnel might seem.
Material possessions are a huge part of modern society. Learning to let go of our dependence on them is something we should all learn. Whether it's the clothing we wear, the devices we carry, the house we live in, etc., so many of us place our focus on what we have and what we want that we forget that we don't actually need any of it. I like to play video games, but I won't die without them. I love to draw, play music, etc., but I don't need any of it. If I didn't have any possessions, I wouldn't be writing this blog. I'd be doing something else instead. Simple as that.
Many people worry about getting bored, not having anything to do, etc., but that's all in our head. There's always something to do. By having so many options we ironically limit ourselves in what we do. In various psychological studies, people who end up being given more options also tend to be the least satisfied by them. They don't appreciate the options/things/people they have as much when they live in abundance. Going back to material possessions, the same applies. Do you really care about your possessions knowing you could always replace them/get more? Compared to the person who only has a single set of clothes, probably not. There is beauty in simplicity (in this case being a minimalist), too.
Do we have to let go of everything in our life? No. However, I still think it's important to know how to let go because it serves as a reminder that everything is shaped by how we view it. It also helps us appreciate the simpler things in life. Perspective is everything and we are what we perceive.
Peace
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| Let go, be free, and be the master of your universe |
One thing that was hard for me to let go of was my first really serious relationship. They way it ended scarred me, but over time I learned to let go of the past and use that experience to help me grow. I learned from it, appreciate the life lessons, and am proud of myself for having gotten back on my feet.
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