I remember when we celebrated our first anniversary. Yung got me an
anniversary gift and inside it there was a pack of IcyHot patches
underneath a witty card that he drew. He said it was "so you can learn
to relax a bit" with a cheeky grin as I threw them back at him. He
thought I was always too stiff and that I needed to chill out more. He
thought he was SO clever. heh...smart-ass.
The next year he did the same thing. I rolled my eyes and shouted, "AGAIN!?" He busted out laughing with pride at his silly gag from the year before. This eventually became tradition and I grew to expect them. It was super cheesy, but it made me feel warm when I'd see that laugh of his. You know, the one where he laughs so hard his asthma starts acting up...and you can't help but start laughing with him.
But then he left for work as usual and mortality was the designated driver that day. We all knew he was reckless, but the way he always brushed everything off with a smile made me forget that he too was just human. Even life has a sick sense of humor from time-to-time. Perhaps he was needed elsewhere...I just...wish I could have spent a little more time with him. Let him know how much he meant to me. How he always kept his cool when I needed him the most. How he never made me feel judged. How I was always able to be completely open with him. How I could still feel beautiful without any make-up. How he gave me shit every time I got tense when we watched movies. How even in a crowded train it felt like we were the only ones there. How his touch was all I needed to know that things were real. How he made me feel free...I think I loved that the most. Yung...
Heh, I'm a wreck, huh? I loved him SO much. He knew how to push all of my buttons. He drove me crazy, yet kept me in my center. I'll never meet anyone else like him and that's alright. He was my IcyHot and nothing could replace what we had. I want to cherish what was and I know that he'd want me to stay strong. He always worried.
If you'll let me be selfish just this once, woul...would you mind waiting for me? I'll make it up by having the adventures we would have gone on had fate knew how to show mercy. I'll take plenty of photos for you, too. Until next time,
...so long and good night.
The next year he did the same thing. I rolled my eyes and shouted, "AGAIN!?" He busted out laughing with pride at his silly gag from the year before. This eventually became tradition and I grew to expect them. It was super cheesy, but it made me feel warm when I'd see that laugh of his. You know, the one where he laughs so hard his asthma starts acting up...and you can't help but start laughing with him.
But then he left for work as usual and mortality was the designated driver that day. We all knew he was reckless, but the way he always brushed everything off with a smile made me forget that he too was just human. Even life has a sick sense of humor from time-to-time. Perhaps he was needed elsewhere...I just...wish I could have spent a little more time with him. Let him know how much he meant to me. How he always kept his cool when I needed him the most. How he never made me feel judged. How I was always able to be completely open with him. How I could still feel beautiful without any make-up. How he gave me shit every time I got tense when we watched movies. How even in a crowded train it felt like we were the only ones there. How his touch was all I needed to know that things were real. How he made me feel free...I think I loved that the most. Yung...
Heh, I'm a wreck, huh? I loved him SO much. He knew how to push all of my buttons. He drove me crazy, yet kept me in my center. I'll never meet anyone else like him and that's alright. He was my IcyHot and nothing could replace what we had. I want to cherish what was and I know that he'd want me to stay strong. He always worried.
If you'll let me be selfish just this once, woul...would you mind waiting for me? I'll make it up by having the adventures we would have gone on had fate knew how to show mercy. I'll take plenty of photos for you, too. Until next time,
...so long and good night.
This is a short dialogue I wrote of a woman mourning the loss of her partner.
ReplyDeleteWe all have those we care for and love unconditionally. Letting go can be one of the hardest things we face. But like all things, it's important to stay strong and never lose sight of what's important to you. No matter how hard the struggle. Never give up and keeping moving forward.
Peace