Yesterday, I talked about not being a Scrooge. Today is a new day.
Letting go of our selfish desires, hopes, and expectations is necessary for any relationship to work. When it comes to love, this is especially true as we constantly have to balance the strong emotions that come with being with someone in order to not get too carried away. However, because such feelings are so strong it can be pretty difficult to do. In my case I get too caught up thinking that the problem lies with us (and even when I realize I shouldn't) and I end up doing things that convey neediness or the thought that I think things might end between us. I end up screwing myself over.
I'm only human and I make mistakes. Sometimes I let my desires get in the way of doing what's best for the both of us. She knows that I care about her so me doing things to try and reassure her only comes across as needy and doesn't help, even though I just want her to be happy. At the same time, it's selfish of me to disregard her needs. I think it's crucial to consider her needs as well as my own, so I need to work on understanding what she needs, too.
In an ideal world things will work out between us, but again, that's my own selfish desire. I might be happy with her, but if she's not happy being with me then who am I to hold on to her? If I truly wanted her to be happy I should let her go if that's what she chooses. The opposite is also true. If I'm not happy with her then she has to let me go, too. This is what I consider mutual respect. In the real world, we can't always have what we want. As children, some grow accustomed to always hearing "yes", but especially when someone else is involved, things aren't just about "me". Their is no "I" in 'team'.
Things also might work out though. Who knows? I can hope for the best, but I also have to be ready to let her go if things aren't meant to be. Such is life. People come and go in our lives all of the time and we have to accept it even if it can be hard. Regardless of what happens, I can learn from this experience and grow.
Peace
"Love is not a matter of getting what you want. Quite the contrary. The insistence on always having what you want, on always being satisfied, on always being fulfilled, makes love impossible." - Thomas MertonThings haven't been looking the best with my girlfriend and I. Things have been stressful for the both of us and we haven't been clicking well lately. I just want her to be happy and my pride makes me think that I have to "fix" things and restore the balance. Feels bad. Of course life isn't always so straightforward.
Letting go of our selfish desires, hopes, and expectations is necessary for any relationship to work. When it comes to love, this is especially true as we constantly have to balance the strong emotions that come with being with someone in order to not get too carried away. However, because such feelings are so strong it can be pretty difficult to do. In my case I get too caught up thinking that the problem lies with us (and even when I realize I shouldn't) and I end up doing things that convey neediness or the thought that I think things might end between us. I end up screwing myself over.
I'm only human and I make mistakes. Sometimes I let my desires get in the way of doing what's best for the both of us. She knows that I care about her so me doing things to try and reassure her only comes across as needy and doesn't help, even though I just want her to be happy. At the same time, it's selfish of me to disregard her needs. I think it's crucial to consider her needs as well as my own, so I need to work on understanding what she needs, too.
In an ideal world things will work out between us, but again, that's my own selfish desire. I might be happy with her, but if she's not happy being with me then who am I to hold on to her? If I truly wanted her to be happy I should let her go if that's what she chooses. The opposite is also true. If I'm not happy with her then she has to let me go, too. This is what I consider mutual respect. In the real world, we can't always have what we want. As children, some grow accustomed to always hearing "yes", but especially when someone else is involved, things aren't just about "me". Their is no "I" in 'team'.
Things also might work out though. Who knows? I can hope for the best, but I also have to be ready to let her go if things aren't meant to be. Such is life. People come and go in our lives all of the time and we have to accept it even if it can be hard. Regardless of what happens, I can learn from this experience and grow.
Peace
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| We live and let go |
Today's assignment: find the moments in which you can trade getting what you want, being satisfied and fulfilled, for love. Notice how that feels.
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